Unbridled Emotions
by DarkEnvisions
Summary: A few weeks after the death of the Red King still has Misaki emotionally distraught, leaving the vanguard weak and vulnerable. But Saruhiko's curiosity causes their two paths to cross and intertwine, possibly causing Misaki to become more reliant on the ex-Homra member than intended. SaruMi, warnings in chapters
1. Chapter 1

**AN****: Hi, so, first off, I'm pretty excited about writing this. It's my first proper fanfic (I've only written tiny drabbles in my spare time), and I'm overjoyed that its a SaruMi. This ship has literally destroyed my life. It's my only OTP that wasn't savagely ripped apart by the merciless icy hands of death. *gross sobs* So please enjoy! Oh, and I'm sorry for any OOCness**

**Warnings for chapter****: Language **

**Disclaimer****: K and its characters belong to their respective owners. If I owned K, there would be a lot less death and a lot more sexy-time~**

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It had only been a few weeks after the huge conflict between Kings and clansmen. With the destruction of three Swords of Damocles, it had left many quiet in reflection, and others in mourning of their king.

"I heard some members of Homra are still pretty torn up over Suoh."

"Yeah, I think the vanguard is having a difficult time recovering."

"Is that so? But I thought he–"

"Akiyama, Benzai, quit gossiping like housewives. It's irritating," Saruhiko Fushimi hissed, gripping tightly to the handle of his umbrella. He had heard the same rumors his subordinates had been whispering about. Though Saruhiko was never one to pay mind to such childish games, he found himself contemplating the possibility of the things he heard. He did believe that some might still be grieving the loss of the Red King, but he debated the idea of Misaki Yata –the brash, impatient teenager– reduced to a blubbering mess without being able to pick himself back up again. As much as the thought amused him, deep within, he winced at the idea of Misaki being caught in a state such as that, causing a major blow to the crow's pride. Curiosity had seeded and grown, itching at the back of Saruhiko's mind, desperate to know the truth.

Scanning the wet streets through the pouring rain one last time as the group walked, Saruhiko slowed to a stop. He couldn't stand the buzz of his own thoughts against the hiss of the rain anymore. "Finish up this sweep of the area then return to head quarters. I have business that needs attending to." Without another word, Saruhiko separated from his subordinates to allow them to finish the mission they had been assigned to.

Pushing open the familiar doors to the Homra headquarters, Saruhiko was suddenly filled with regret and shame for actually giving into his pitiful curiosity.

"Well. Look what the cat dragged in." Saruhiko clicked his tongue shaking off his umbrella and setting it aside before stepping fully inside the bar.

"Hello to you too, Izumo. Long time no see."

"What are you doing here?"

"I'm just another thirsty, paying customer~"

"You're not of age to drink yet." Saruhiko scowled, and looked around, assessing the empty bar. Noting the familiar figure slumped over the bar, Saruhiko's lips tempted to curl up in a devious grin just being in the presence of the crow.

"Aren't you going to say hello, Mi~sa~ki~?" The vanguard pulled himself up into a sitting position enough to twist around where he could glare at the ex-Homra member. Misaki's lip merely twitched into a snarl in agitation of his first name.

Saruhiko eyed the smaller male. Purple rings had formed beneath his strained reddened eyes, pairing with his noticeably thinning frame. Misaki turned his face from the man, returning to his slumped position back over the bar counter top.

"My, don't you look ravishing this evening."

"Piss off, monkey," Misaki mumbled into his folded arms. Saruhiko smirked and seated himself on the stool next to his former clansman. He kept his eyes focused on the auburn haired male before shifting his gaze to Kusanagi, who was watching the pair intently whilst polishing a small shot glass.

"Water," Saruhiko murmured monotonously, propping an elbow up and resting his head into his hand. Kusanagi lifted a brow at the Scepter 4 member, but prepared Saruhiko a glass as requested. Once it had been placed before him, Saruhiko took a small sip before gazing back down at his friend. "Misaki–"

"Shut up."

"...Have you–"

"Just leave." Saruhiko sighed and poked at the floating ice cubes with his straw. He was truly worried about Misaki. He would never tell him that – at least, not at the moment. Only when he had made Misaki his would he be able to take down his protective barriers and tell him how he really felt. Oh, how he longed to hold the man in his arms, whispering sweet nothings in his ear; to have him pinned, writhing beneath him in pure ecstasy; to be tantalized again by his crude remarks and dazzling grin. Misaki had always been his one true desire, and to see his precious crow in pain made his stomach twist uncomfortably. But nothing could made him display such feelings – he wouldn't dare. To appear weak... he wouldn't stand by it in the slightest.

Once possessing the power of two kings, he privately swore to use his strength to watch over his Misaki. Though every now and then the two had fought –even wounding the crow at one point– Saruhiko vowed to himself never to inflict a serious amount of damage to the man. He would never forgive himself if he stood by and watched Misaki burden a pain he couldn't bear. And now, seeing him in such a state, still struggling with the death of Mikoto Suoh, made his heart constrict in both sympathy and anger.

He had left Homra because he couldn't watch the way his Misaki had grown so fond of their King – though, that had been his own private secret. The crow had drifted away from Saruhiko in admiration of Mikoto. It was to torturous to stand by while Misaki's attention was drawn away from him. Leaving Homra and joining Scepter 4 had definitely snapped the crow's attention back to Saruhiko, but Misaki had still remained as attached as ever to Mikoto. And now, it irked Saruhiko that this attachment was causing his Misaki such grief.

Saruhiko glanced back at Misaki, worry rising in his throat seeing the vanguard trembling, trapped in his own thoughts.

"Look, Misaki," he started, inwardly fighting to keep his tone steady.

"Go a-away, Saru. Now." Misaki's threat fell apart as his voice barely managed to carry past his throat in his now fully shaking form.

"I think its time that you realize–"

"Shut up!"

"You have to accept that he's gone–"

"SHUT UP!"

"–and move on."

"SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU DAMNED TRAITOR!" Misaki suddenly pushed off the bar and sprang from the stool, barely managing to stand as his body heaved wracking sobs. Stumbling to find his footing, the smaller male dashed out of Homra, escaping into the streets of freezing rain.

Saruhiko clicked his tongue and took one last sip from his glass before grabbing his umbrella and stepping out into the street. Following the direction of a few turning heads, he spotted a glimpse of Misaki's drenched white sweat shirt before his figure ducked into an alley way. Sighing, Saruhiko kept a steady pace, reminding himself not to get carried away before stopping at the opening of the alley. Misaki stood at the end with his head hung and his palm to the dead end brick wall, his body shaking from the overflow of emotion and the icy water. He turned to flee but stopped mid rotation spotting the taller man at the entrance, trapping Misaki in the alley. Furious at his defeat, Misaki growled and screamed out, spinning and driving his fist into the wall. Saruhiko cringed as he heard the crunch of Misaki's knuckles against the brick, loud enough to echo through the loud spitting of rain surrounding them.

"You can't keep running from this," he spoke lowly, for once fearing to angry the crow, possibly causing him to inflict more damage to himself. The auburn haired man's chest rose and fell quickly as he wheezed, his lungs begging for more air. Saruhiko approached him cautiously, his free hand out in a innocuous gesture. Bleak eyes snapped up to give warning to the figure closing in on Misaki, his arm coiling back to strike Saruhiko, but winced as he attempted to close his hand into a fist. Misaki whimpered in discomfort, staring at his bloodied knuckles.

"S-Saru..." Pressing his lips into a thin line, Saruhiko carefully placed his hand on Misaki's shoulder, shifting the umbrella's protection over the two of them. The shorter male looked up at the other in pain and exhaustion, his face completely drained of colour, contrasting the dark bags. "S-Sa...Saru...I...he..." Misaki desperately fought for words, but his strength and adrenaline had dissolved into nothing from the gentle touch.

Dropping his injured hand to his side, Misaki reached up with his other, clutching onto the cobalt blue jacket Saruhiko sported. The shorter male shivered and swayed, giving the other the chance to hook his arm around his waist before his knees wobbled and gave out.

"I'm sorry," Saruhiko whispered as bleary eyes slipped shut, and Misaki collapsed his weight fully into Saruhiko.

::.

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**AN****: Feel free to tell me what you think! Give me a heads up if I'm on the right track or I've botched this whole thing completely.**


	2. Chapter 2

**AN: Can I just say that I love each and every single one of you? Seriously. You guys are awesome. You have no idea how happy you've all made me. Like, you all completely defenestrated my expectations on how much feedback I would receive for this story. I really appreciate every follow and favourite, and ohmigosh! So many reviews! I was definitely not expecting so much love, thank you so much. Your support is what keeps me motivated and drives me to write faster (nudge nudge, wink wink). So, I was gonna wait a few more days to upload this, but because I received so much feedback, I present you with the next chapter!**

**Warnings for chapter: Language, some fluff**

**Disclaimer: K and its characters belong to their respective owners. If you're still convinced in any way that I'm trying to steal them, I'll have to ask you kindly to put down the bottle of glue you've been inhaling and to just leave.**

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.::

"What am I going to do with you?" Saruhiko sighed, placing Misaki's soaked unconscious body onto a cushioned chair.

Getting Misaki to his apartment had been an arduous journey, the chilling rain challenging Saruhiko's ability to carry an umbrella and another man down several cold streets while keeping as dry as possible. The rain hadn't been predicted by many forecasters –most were expecting snow– though it had seemed the air wasn't quite cold enough for the water particles to freeze with the changing of season.

Saruhiko studied the limp body before him with a sigh, reaching down to remove the soaked beanie from Misaki's head. "You'll get ill if you stay in those clothes." Ignoring the fact that his words were continuing to fall upon deaf ears, Saruhiko retrieved a few towels before lifting Misiaki once more, carrying him to his bedroom. He inwardly snickered at the thought, laying a towel onto his bed before placing the crow down on top. Clicking his tongue, Saruhiko shrugged off his wet uniform and slipped into something more dry.

Many times Saruhiko had found himself fantasizing this moment; leading the crow into his room and tossing the man onto the bed. To Saruhiko, it was a dream come true. Well, mostly. Saruhiko figured this could be an adaption to that fantasy, though with a gentler, less lust-driven motive. He wanted to care for the crow now, to keep him safe. Deep within he wanted to keep his Misaki shut out from the world so that Misaki's eyes saw him and only him. True, he though the idea selfish, but he wanted the young man all to himself, as greedy and self-centered that was.

Smiling to himself, he removed the each piece of the vanguard's wet clothing, absorbing as much as the moment as he possibly could; he wouldn't know when he'd ever get a chance like this ever again. His hands shook with excitement as dark thoughts began to form within his mind, whispering to Saruhiko to take hold of the temptation before him. Untying the red sweater and carefully removing the drenched sweatshirt, he discarded the items to a pile on the floor, quickly moving his hands back to the pale flesh before him.

Saruhiko's smile dipped into a frown as he eyed Misaki's emaciated body. Sharp ribs were poking out of the man's chest, creating deep grooves between each bone. The muscles covering Misaki's abdomen had begun to go soft, revealing pointed hipbones. Saruhiko brushed the tips of his fingers over the delicate skin, tracing Misaki's bones and creating small patterns with the drops of water clinging to the young man's chest. Grabbing hold of another towel, Saruhiko wiped away the water droplets before gently wrapping the man's upper half in the soft cloth. He towelled Misaki's head carefully, wary of waking the crow before staring down at Misaki's dripping shorts.

_Shit_, Saruhiko thought, his heartbeat beginning to race a little faster as he plucked off Misaki's shoes. Slowly, he pulled down the shorts to the man's knees, watching Misaki's face for any signs of being roused before hooking his fingers into the waistband of Misaki's underwear. Holding his breath, Saruhiko pulled off both garments in one quick tug. He tossed the wet clothes onto the pile and quickly looked back to Misaki, expecting to see the man awoken and flustered, but Misaki still remained unconscious. Saruhiko exhaled and pressed his lips to Misaki's forehead, beginning towelling the man's legs. His body ached to reach higher up, but discarded the temptation to gain some self-control.

"You must be truly exhausted," he breathed, lightly thumbing the dark rings beneath Misaki's closed eyes. Saruhiko wrapped the towel around Misaki's waist and pulled back to seek out something for the smaller male to wear.

Selecting a few of his older clothes, Saruhiko dressed Misaki carefully and tossed the used towels atop of the wet mound. He observed the smaller male, his eyes falling upon Misaki's swelling hand.  
"Tch– Idiot." Saruhiko gathered his first aid kit and began to work away at Misaki's wounded hand. He contemplated icing the swelling knuckles, but decided against it in fear of waking the crow.

Pulling back the covers, Saruhiko shifted Misaki under the beds sheets, tossing on a few additional blankets for extra warmth before leaning down and planting a soft kiss to the young man's temple. "Rest well," Saruhiko murmured as he brushed the back of his hand over the others warming cheeks.

Misaki whimpered softly in his sleep, swallowing and turning onto his side, curling in towards the gentle touch. Saruhiko hummed, smiling at how innocent the impetuous teen could actually be. Carefully, he sat himself down next to Misaki's sleeping form before lifting his hand to run his fingers through damp auburn hair. Unconsciously, Misaki rolled his head into Saruhiko's fingers before nuzzling into the pillow with a quiet murmur. Saruhiko relaxed, tangling his fingers in the soft hair while running his thumb gently over Misaki's temple. The two remained that way for a short while before Saruhiko finally decided it was best for him to leave Misaki to rest.

With a sigh, Saruhiko stood and collected the wet laundry pile, tossing it into woven basket and carrying it out of the room for cleaning. Settling himself down onto the couch, Saruhiko unknowingly nodded off, his heart content that the one he loved was resting safe and warm under Saruhiko's own protection. _Mine_, he thought. _Mine._

.: :.

"Huh? ...HAAAH?!"

Saruhiko groaned and brought his arms up to cover his ears.

"OI, SARU." Misaki's was suddenly above Saruhiko, his face red and puffy. He looked worse than when Saruhiko had seen him in Homra, but something about the crow was different this time.

"Eh? I'm busy, can't you tell?" Saruhiko grumbled, turning himself over to face the opposite direction, attempting to shut out the light and return to sleep. Violent coughing ripped through Misaki's throat before the smaller male grabbed Saruhiko, trembling slightly as he pulled the man off the couch and onto the floor. Saruhiko clicked his tongue, not all too pleased to wake to a face full of rug.

"Busy my ass! Where the hell are–" another cough tore through Misaki, causing his whole body to shake with the force. He opened his mouth to start where he left off, but he wheezed and again was suddenly thrown off by a series of violent attacks expelled from his lungs. Saruhiko's stomach twisted in a knot as he looked up at a very ill Misaki. _Shit_.

::.

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**AN: So there you have it! Tell me what you think and leave a review~. They make me really happy. Your feedback means the world to me. To the people who are wondering: yes, there will be smut, some most likely in the next chapter.**

** The more love, the quicker I'll update~**

**EDIT: I'm very sorry for any spelling/grammatical errors you may find. I write everything very late at night, and I edit and post at about 3 or 4 am. Thank you to the guest who highlighted one of these mistakes. I'll do my best to avoid this, but if I do end up missing another, please be sure to PM me. ^~^'' I really appreciate it. **


	3. Chapter 3

**AN****: WAHHH jeez, I'm so sorry that it's taken me this long to update. Last week I was busy with my birthday and this whole week I've been reading into arguments for my debate at school. All that's been on my mind is god damn Free Trade crap and I have not once been able to think about Sarumi. I never noticed how long it had been and I decided to take tonight off to write the next chapter. **

**Because all you beautiful lovelies out there showed such awesome support, I've made this chapter about twice as long just for you guys **

**(✿ﾉ****o㉨****o)ﾉ*****:･ﾟ✧ **

**Warnings for chapter****: Language, masturbation**

**Disclaimer****: Do I have to do this every time? Seriously, I'm bored of this already. You and I both know I don't own K or the characters.**

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.::

Saruhiko sighed as he lifted himself from the floor, his head lolling back to glance at the clock in his small kitchen. It was a few minutes after midnight; they had only been asleep for a few hours. He clicked his tongue and returned his gaze back to Misaki who was clutching at his chest, struggling to swallow in air.

"You're not well. You need your rest," Saruhiko started.

"Damn monkey," Misaki hissed. "Where the hell are we?"

"My apartment."

"Che– I'm going home."

"No, you're going back to bed."

"Like hell I am!" Misaki wheezed and staggered towards the entrance door. Sarohiko clicked his tongue and stretched himself out, watching as Misaki coughed and stumbled, catching himself on the wall with his bandaged hand. He winced and frowned, staring down at his hand and experimentally tried to open and close his fist smoothly. Saruhiko rolled his eyes and moved to the kitchen, retrieving a bag of ice and bringing it back over, grabbing Misaki's hand and placing the bag on his injured knuckles. Misaki yanked his arm back and held the ice to his hand himself, growling something under his breath before shuffling back to the bedroom.

Saruhiko smirked, heading back into the kitchen to grab some medicine before following after Misaki. Still grumbling to himself, Misaki rubbed at his nose with his sleeve and suddenly stopped. "What the hell am I wearing?! Where are my clothes?" The crow spun around and opened his arms, making a point to exaggerate the long sleeves of the sweater he now sported.

"Tch– Calm down, Misaki. All of your clothes were soaked from the rain. I don't exactly have any clothes that... fit your... particular... height~" Misaki growled lowly, baring his his teeth in a feral snarl before reaching up to snatch the bottle of cough syrup from Saruhiko's hands. He examined the bottle, twisting it around and narrowing his eyes at the label. Saruhiko sighed and reached over to twist the cap off the top. Using a single finger to push down on Misaki's hands, he tipped the bottle to the side and caught the medicine cleanly into the large teaspoon he held. Saruhiko lifted his finger and Misaki's hands returned to their original position, leaving Misaki slightly bewildered at the strange way Saruhiko managed that.

"Say '_Ah~_'"

"Eh? –_Mmph_!"

"Close enough," Saruhiko mumbled, tipping Misaki's head back with the spoon he had forced into the crow's mouth. After ensuring all of the liquid had left the spoon, Saruhiko pulled back, the metal leaving Misaki with a soft pop. Sputtering as he choked, Misaki barely managed to swallow down the medicine before nearly coughing it back up from the initial shock and bitter taste.

"YOU DAMN MONKEY, WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU?!" Saruhiko merely sighed and plucked the bottle from Misaki's grasp, placing it on the small bedside table to clean up later. Snarling, Misaki shouldered past the other and forced his way under the blankets, turning himself over to face the wall. Saruhiko rolled his eyes and switched off the light before making his way back over to the bed, laying himself down beside the crow. "Oi! What are you doing?!"

"Going to bed."

"_Hah_?! No way! Go back to the couch where you were before!"

"It's _my_ bed, Misaki."

"Fine! Then I'll sleep on the couch." Before Misaki had the chance to sit up, Saruhiko threw his arm around him and pulled Misaki closer.

"Oi, Saru! Let go!"

"Shut up. You're better off here with all of the blankets." Misaki struggled to fight out of the grip, twisting about until he eventually gave up, weakened by his health and exhausted from the effort. He growled and attempted to shrug off Saruhiko's arm as he shifted in his place. Surprisingly, within a few minutes, Misaki's breathing slowed drastically and he had fallen fast asleep. Soft murmurs from the other brought a smile to Saruhiko's lips as he quietly drifted off as well.

.:: ::.

Saruhiko sat upright in his bed, slowly blinking away sleep while he played with short locks of auburn hair beside him. Misaki had managed to roll over and curl into Saruhiko's side during the night, restlessly shifting around, nudging at the Scepter 4 member as his body battled with his illness. It had frustrated Saruhiko; so much movement had caused him to wake irritated several times during the night. However, the thought of his Misaki beside him eased him back to rest.

Movement under Saruhiko's finger tips warned him of the waking Misaki at his side. The vanguard coughed once, groaned, then stretched before curling into Saruhiko again, nuzzling into him with a sigh. Saruhiko couldn't help but laugh through his nose,

"Comfortable?" Misaki scrunched his nose and slowly stirred from his sleep. After a minute and a few blinks of his eyes, Misaki suddenly was wide awake and immediately pushed away, pressing himself against the wall in an attempt to create as much distance between the two as possible.

"Damn it," Misaki hissed with a raspy voice, bringing his knees in closer to his body and averting his eyes from the taller male. Saruhiko cocked his head to the side with a smirk.

"What's the matter, Misaki~?"

"Shut up." Scowling, Misaki kept his face turned away as pink rose to his cheeks. "Where's your bathroom? I... need to use your shower." Puzzled slightly, Saruhiko quirked a brow suspiciously.

"Why?"

"...I feel... unclean..."

"Huh? That's never stopped you before. You used go for days without bathing back when we were in school– why the change of heart?"

"Che– Who _wouldn't_ feel unclean lying next to you!" Saruhiko clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes.

"Turn right, second door on your left." Flicking his wrist, Saruhiko pointed out the bedroom door, but kept his attention on Misaki, watching him with narrowed eyes. The crow hesitated, glancing at Saruhiko.

"Move."

"Heh, no."

"_Move_."

"I don't have to. You're the one who wants to get out of bed." Saruhiko stretched out his legs, with a sly grin. A large wardrobe against the wall blocked the foot of the bed on Misaki's side, rendering climbing over Saruhiko's legs to be the only exit. Growling deep within his throat, Misaki glared viciously at Saruhiko before shifting unusually carefully towards his escape. Without warning, Saruhiko leaped at the unsuspecting Misaki and pinned him down, keeping the crow's hands high above his head.

"OI! GET OFF!" Misaki tried to thrash about, but it was useless with Saruhiko's weight atop him.

"What's got you acting so strangely?" Saruhiko pondered aloud. Leaning forward to inspect Misaki's flustered features, something brushed Saruhiko's stomach causing him to pause but grin in realization. "Ah, I see now." Misaki froze, his face still glowing bright red as he looked away.

"Shit."

"So _this_ is what has you on edge, hm? Why are you fighting so desperately to hide it from me?"

"...Let me go." Holding both Misaki's wrists with one hand, Saruhiko lowered his voice, and trailed his free hand along the crow's body, down to the predominant bulge in Misaki's pants.

"You know, I would have helped had you asked..." Misaki gasped as Saruhiko palmed at him gently, and once again he made his move try to break free.

"S-Stop! A cold sh-shower always makes it go away, so– _ngh!_"

"You never relieve yourself properly? I guess that explains why you're so sensitive down here. My, you really are quite the virgin."

"_Hah?!_ Sh-shut up!"

"Misaki." Saruhiko stopped for a moment, placing his hand on Misaki's hip as he waited for the other to halt as well.

"What?"

"Let me help you..."

"Eh?" Saruhiko tugged at the waistband of Misaki's trousers causing the crow to snap his gaze up to meet Saruhiko's, his eyes filled with..._fear?_

"Trust me." Reaching up, Saruhiko gently cupped Misaki's face and brushed his thumb over the other's heated cheek. Conflicted, Misaki's face darkened in hue before nodding once after a moment and turning his face away again. Excitement coursed through Saruhiko, but he kept himself composed on the exterior, though barely managing to hold back from shaking with eagerness.

Gingerly, Saruhiko released Misaki's wrists and brought both hands down to massage at the vanguard's hips, calming the tense body. Once more relaxed, Misaki unconsciously began rolling his hips into Saruhiko's hands, craving friction further down. One hand made its way to palm at Misaki through his pants again, earning a strangled squeak from the crow. The sound amused Saruhiko enough to make him experimentally squeeze at Misaki's clothed erection in an attempt to recreate the noise, but instead received a long breathy moan. Though very eager to hear more, he kept a continuous rhythm with simple touches and tender oscillations. When Misaki had begun to squirm and shutter more frequently, Saruhiko deemed it time to remove the barrier of clothing covering Misaki.

Humming with delight, Saruhiko lifted his hand away to pull at Misaki's pants leaving the crow whimpering at the loss of touch. Behind the fabric a very hard, pink erection was revealed, and Saruhiko couldn't help but stare lustfully at it, relishing in the sight of the tempting sin before him. He was the only who would be allowed to see this part of Misaki and he would make sure of it. He grabbed hold of the stiff member and gave it a gentle tug, earning a stifled cry from above. Saruhiko glanced up to see that Misaki had thrown an arm over his face to hide behind while the other reached out for him to grasp tightly at the bed sheets.

"My, look how wet you are already," Saruhiko purred, swirling the precum that leaked from the tip around the swollen head. Misaki shivered above him and squirmed at the sensation.

"..._muh_...more..." Misaki breathed shakily, his body uncontrollably yearning for more friction. Grinning wildly, Saruhiko drew painstakingly long strokes up and down the length until Misaki was inching his hips off the bed to meet with Saruhiko's hand sooner.

"What was that? I'm afraid I didn't hear you very well," Saruhiko teased, giving the member a less tender of a squeeze. Gasping, Misaki quickly propped himself up with his arms to glare down at Saruhiko.

"D-Damn... monkey..." Saruhiko chuckled and began to work at Misaki's member vehemently. The sounds that escaped Misaki were like music to Saruhiko's ears; each moan, every cry, every gasp was a sound to cherish in that moment.

Without warning, Misaki tensed and released a strangled cry, releasing himself suddenly into Saruhiko's hand and onto his stomach. Saruhiko continued to pump the length, allowing the other to ride out his orgasm before slowing to a stop and pulling away. Misaki lay there panting before glancing over at Saruhiko and bolting upright in shock.

"It's pretty thick; so you really don't bring yourself relief. Hnn~"

The Scepter 4 member sat and lapped at his own hand, happily tasting the sticky liquid that covered it.

"O-Oi! Don't do strange things!" Misaki cried, his voice wavering nervously.

"...Misaki?" Saruhiko said softly.

"...What is it?"

"...What have you been eating? This is way too bitter for my taste. Have you even been eating at all? You'll end up with a women's body if you lose anymore weight."

"SHUT THE HELL UP!" Misaki's face darkened instantly before he tossed a pillow at Saruhiko, wiggled on his pants and got up from the bed, dashing out of the room and locking himself in the bathroom leaving Saruhiko to chuckle to himself at the reaction he stirred.

::.

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**AN****: Hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think. **

**Later my lovelies~**


	4. Chapter 4

**AN****: Oh…my gosh. You all have no idea how sorry I am. Like, you all deserve to stone me right now. What's it been, like, almost two months now? Oh god. The idea of making you guys wait that long makes me sick to my stomach. I'm so sorry.**

**I was thrown so many assignments and tests and booklets in my last month of school that I couldn't even draw anymore (yes, I do that too). I lost my motivation and spent this last little while picking that back up. I don't wanna drag this AN any longer with my crap. I owe you guys my kidneys right now. Thank you so, so, so much for all the follows, favorites and love. Your reviews make me cry, I don't even know why. I think it's just the sheer emotion of happiness knowing you guys care enough to take the time out of your lives to tell me I'm doing this right. (ಢ◞౪◟ಢ****")**

**To sum that all up, thank you and I'm ever so sorry with all my sincerity.**

**Warnings for chapter****: fluff? Do you even need a warning for that? This is rated M, you should know what you're in for by now.**

**Disclaimer****: ain't nobody got time for this. Refer to previous chapters from now on if you'd really like a disclaimer **

.::

It was nearly an hour later till Saruhiko actually heard the water of the shower begin running, and at that time he had already moved himself into the kitchen. He had relieved himself of his own situation–the scene he and Misaki had just played out brought more than enough awareness down below–and phoned in to the head office at Scepter 4, dryly notifying them that he wouldn't be coming in that day for personal reasons. He wanted nothing more than to stay at home and watch over Misaki.

Deep within Saruhiko, his possessive feelings grew for him, each moment spent with Misaki burying more and more twisted emotions within his heart. He wanted no one else to see what he's seen of Misaki, feel what he's felt for Misaki. But most of all, he wanted Misaki to never have these same feelings for anyone else other than Saruhiko. Just the thought constricted his chest and a lump rose to his throat, but he swallowed it down nonetheless and breathed a heavy sigh as he prepared brunch for the two.

The soft click of a door drew Saruhiko's attention away from the dish before him. Shuffling of feet back and forth in the hall gave Saruhiko the slight idea of what the vanguard was up to.

"Misaki~?" The shuffling stopped. As Saruhiko waited, a small smirk pulled at the corner of his mouth as he heard the other man heave an exasperated sigh.

"Saru," Misaki groaned as he trod out into the entryway of the kitchen, sporting about every clean towel Saruhiko figured he had left. "Where are my clothes?" Saruhiko just stood there for a moment, admiring the display Misaki had made of himself. The crow rolled his eyes and pulled one of the towels wrapped around his chest tighter and restated his original question. "Give me back my clothes."

"I haven't washed them yet."

"I don't care, I want them back." Saruhiko narrowed his eyes and noticed something strange about Misaki's face. He strode closer and quickly took hold of the vanguard's face.

"Your eyes are red." Misaki, though stunned at first, quickly recoiled and attempted to make his way back to the bathroom.

"I-I-I got soap in my e-eyes." Clearly unconvinced by the transparent lie, Saruhiko reached out and snatched hold of Misaki's arm.

"Have you been crying again?"

"No!"

"Tch– Pathetic." Saruhiko dragged Misaki back into his room and gave him a light push towards the bed. He turned and once again searched through his wardrobe for something the other could wear, but this time picked out something of his own liking, disregarding the thought of whether if fit the young man or not. Grinning devilishly, he tossed Misaki a giant woven sweater and some baggy sweatpants that even seemed too big on Saruhiko himself.

"Eh?! No way! There's no way in _hell_ I'm wearing this!"

"It's all I have for you," he lied and waved his hand with a sigh, dismissing the subject.

"_'It's all I have'_ my _ass_," Misaki grumbled mockingly, first pulling off the towels covering his upper body. Saruhiko took a sidelong glance and watched the other as he undressed, but was caught and chased out of the room by flying wet towels.

Setting out the bowls onto the table, Saruhiko sat and waited a few moments before Misaki finally emerged from the hall. The large clothes had only made the smaller boy look even shorter. Saruhiko couldn't help but snicker at him.

"OI, SHUT UP!" Misaki shouted and sat down roughly, his face bright and flustered. Saruhiko continued to grin as he pointed his chopsticks at the bowl before Misaki. Eyeing it, the crow's expression suddenly changed, pushing the bowl away, hanging his head and turning away. "I'm not hungry."

"Come on, Misaki."

"_No_."

"Misa–"

"You can't make me do anything, you stupid monkey!" Clicking his tongue, Saruhiko stood and moved around to bring the bowl back closer to Misaki.

"Look, you're sick, and not eating isn't going to help. Your body can't maintain a good immune system and heal your illness if you starve yourself. You're not getting out of here until you get better, so if you want to leave, you'd better do what's best for you. Now, eat."

Defeated by Saruhiko's lecture, Misaki sighed uncharacteristically and reached for his chopsticks. Something was very wrong with Misaki and Saruhiko could tell. The crow was definitely not himself anymore, at least, when he was upset he wasn't. Saruhiko could only keep him distracted from Misaki's own thoughts for so long.

Finishing two servings and the rest of Saruhiko's unfinished portion, Misaki gurgled and sat back, watching lazily as the Scepter 4 member cleaned up the mess. Saruhiko felt the eyes of the other on him the entire time as he moved and inwardly smiled. _Good. That's how it should always be. Keep your eyes only on me–no one else._ Saruhiko found himself slightly inclined to know what Misaki was thinking of as he watched him, but he figured he wasn't curious enough to actually ask

Saruhiko gave Misaki a new medication this time to help clear Misaki's head a little better. He could only imagine the pain the crow was suffering; of course, Misaki would never admit to it though. Misaki had been stifling off a few coughs here and there to make it seem as if he was better than before, but Saruhiko could tell otherwise every time Misaki make a choking noise as he 'cleared his throat'. He tossed Misaki a few new fresh blankets and instructed him to go back to the bedroom, but Misaki immediately discarded that as an option and went straight to the couch. He had plopped himself down and powered on the TV, casually flipping through channels as if he were right at home. Saruhiko rolled his eyes and gathered the remaining dirty laundry from off of the floor. After sorting the fabrics and tossing them into the washing machine, Saruhiko collected some important files and his laptop before walking into the living room and dropping himself down on the couch beside Misaki.

Still absorbed in previous thought, Misaki flinched away at first, looking over at Saruhiko with startled eyes. Saruhiko opened his laptop and glanced at the stricken crow.

"Hm? Oh, sorry." Misaki's cheeks darkened and he quickly turned away.

"S'fine. Whatever, you just startled me," Misaki slurred, turning and shifting away from the other. Amused, Saruhiko focused his attention back to his work with a small grin. He reached over and tousled the mess of damp auburn hair and completely perplexed Misaki, catching him off guard once again. Misaki cried out in agitation and pulled away, yanking the blankets covering him up and over his head for protection. Saruhiko laughed through his nose at the reactions he could stir. Misaki's ears had heated up so quickly under his touch, it made Saruhiko want to experiment more with the vanguard. However, that would have to wait; despite not going to Scepter 4 that day, he still had paperwork and to complete from the day before.

There was more work for all Scepter 4 members even after the death of the Kings. More and more dangerous Strains were being reported and it was causing everyone at headquarters to run around in search to bring them into custody. Patrols around specific areas were arranged, and after each, a report was due on any findings or tracing of evidence that could lead them closer to catching the Strains. Saruhiko saw it as tedious work, but was forced to complete his given tasks nonetheless.

As Saruhiko typed, time slipped by and just as he was nearly finished, his left arm was bumped away from the keys as Misaki's sleeping body slumped over onto Saruhiko. With a sigh, Saruhiko popped his legs up to rest on the coffee table and pushed his laptop further down his legs. Carefully, he shifted Misaki off his shoulder and lowered his head down onto his lap. Saruhiko reached up with one hand and continued typing while the other gently combed through Misaki's soft hair.

He was beginning to think playing with the vanguard's hair was becoming a weakness of his. Each lock that feathered between his fingers brought Saruhiko a wave of relaxation. He thought perhaps it was just the thought that Misaki was close to him, and that was why he had felt such comfort in the affectionate touch. Humming contentedly, Saruhiko's fingers grazed delicately over Misaki's hairline, occasionally thumbing softly at his temple to relax the other further in his slumber. His stomach knotted uncomfortably as he took note of the extremely warm skin beneath his fingertips. Worry flooded through Saruhiko and he began to feel pessimistic as he pressed his hand tenderly to Misaki's forehead.

Saruhiko was more than concerned about the vanguard's health at this point. Misaki's emaciated body was burnt into Saruhiko's mind, and he was determined to heal Misaki and take care of him till he was in good health, physically and emotionally. Misaki was never so sickly when they were younger; he had a fairly good immune system, better than Saruhiko's, in fact. Back in their school days, when one of the duo became ill, the other, in turn, would visit their home; do their best to comfort the other; and bring horribly attempted home remedies that (as expected), in the end, never worked.

Misaki heaved a sigh and shifted in Saruhiko's lap.

"Saru..." Saruhiko stiffened, freezing his movements and mentally preparing himself for a forceful punch to the gut.

But the blow never came.

Instead, Misaki whimpered and curled in on himself slightly. Pressing his lips into a thin line, Saruhiko closed his laptop and placed his work materials aside. He returned his fingers to Misaki's hair, calming the crow slightly.

"...gone...–koto...–san.." Saruhiko clicked his tongue and rolled his eyes. _The idiot was dreaming about that bastard? Pathetic._ "...Saru!" Suddenly, Misaki's arms shot out lazily in front of him before dropping back down as Misaki's face warped into a sour expression.

"_Shh_," Saruhiko cooed, rolling Misaki over and up into a laid-back sitting position where Saruhiko could hold the young man in his arms more easily. Misaki moaned quietly and pressed himself into Saruhiko's collar unconsciously. "It's alright," Saruhiko whispered, nuzzling his nose into Misaki's clean, vanilla scented hair. He grinned at the simple thought of Misaki using his shampoo. It created the idea of them being closer together in a sense with Misaki smelling now more like Saruhiko, almost like Misaki was being marked like an animal through scent. "I'm here, and I'm not leaving you anytime soon."

::.

**AN****: I've got one more final to write on the 18****th**** so I definitely won't take as long to update again. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think.**

**Later my lovelies~**


	5. Chapter 5

**AN****: Yosh! I'm so glad this didn't take another whole two months to get to you all. I felt like I sorta left a little bit of a grey area for where Misaki was sitting in this whole business, so after chewing on it for a bit, I sorta spat out this lump of... ****_thing_****, I dunno. **

**Ohmigod, by the way, you all made me sob all over the place with all your beautiful feed back. Thank you so much, all of you! It means the world to me, I can't say that enough.**

**Warnings for chapter****: I took a few days off to be my true antisocial self and I think it made my style of writting go a bit wonky, I can't tell though. Oh! And I got lazy with the grammar. Gomen~ OTZ**

**Disclaimer****: refer to previous chapters.**

.::

Warmth. That was all Misaki could come to focus with. It surrounded him wholly and brought the fulfilling settlement of serenity. Nuzzling gently into the softness, Misaki found himself drifting between conscience and reality as the fading nightmare dissipated into the nothingness of the warmth that engulfed his whole. Was it sunlight that shone so gently against his face? Misaki couldn't care to tell as the will for inquiry crumbled away into bliss. Something above was bringing tranquility that undulated over him, sinking Misaki deeper and deeper into relaxation. It felt as if his mind was melting with each passing, causing Misaki to hum in pleasure.

Misaki could've sworn he was on a beach just then, sprawled out lazily in the sand as churning waves gently licked at his hair as they broke on shore with a muffled crash. One glance up at the sky was all he wanted, to see the white-hot sun sparkle brilliantly in the azure atmosphere and confirm its presence.

Misaki slowly cracked a single eye open.

As expected, he was indeed blinded at first, but with a different color of light. A warm orange light hummed overhead, though less harsh than the blistering sun that was originally anticipated, it burned the painful image into his retina nonetheless. More disappointed rather than pained, Misaki scrunched his face in displeasure and groaned unhappily. Murmuring came soothingly from above, catching Misaki's attention as his body was turned away from the light. Curiosity piqued slightly as he felt himself slipping back into the darkness that enveloped him previously, desperately forcing an eye open once more to reveal shadow and soft fabric. Struggling slightly, he raised a hand numbly to grasp and tug weakly at the material.

Control and consciousness seemed to give way beneath Misaki and his mind sunk, leaving him to melt away with the last exposed image of reality: an all too-familiar sigil painted with scars and bloodied claw marks.

.: :.

Misaki stirred at the delectable aroma that filled the apartment, his stomach begging him to sit up and find the source. His head ached terribly and he wanted nothing more than to fall back down into the embrace of warm blankets, but his body protested, using every ounce of strength to urge him forward. Eyes half lidded, Misaki stood carefully and sluggishly followed the scent into the kitchen.

Squinting when faced with the bright light, Misaki could vaguely make out the silhouette of the figure moving almost gracefully about the room. Saruhiko was skillfully maneuvering through the kitchen, reaching out and tasting spices while keeping a watchful eye on searing what appeared to be poultry before quickly moving to chop and season something shielded by his form. Finding himself slightly intrigued, Misaki watched silently for a moment, somewhat admiring the skill Saruhiko possessed in the grace of his movements.

Misaki knew Saruhiko had a developing passion for culinary arts back when they were in school together, but he had never really considered it would stick with the man this far. Every now and then, Saruhiko would invite Misaki over after classes and have him sample new ingredients and recipes to dishes sometimes Misaki had never even heard of before. Traditional dishes with a twist of modern ideas, culture clashes and exotic flavors were what Fushimi was always playing around with. It was only till after the two joined Homra that Saruhiko's flame of passion sparked and died out unnoticed amongst the bustle of a new home and blossoming friendships.

Just the thought of the group brought the return of the ignorantly forgotten tearing feeling within, gouging another hole deep into the center of Misaki's chest. Hollowness filled the cavity, swallowing Misaki and dragging regret and dejection into the pit of his stomach. _We will never be whole again. _His eyes prickled and he swayed slightly, forcefully swallowing the bitterness back down his throat, shaking his head in an attempt to regain composure. These unbridled emotions were becoming far too much for the vanguard to handle, and though he had his slip ups now and then, Misaki knew his breaking point was nearing all too soon.

Shakily, Misaki released a wheezy sigh, relaxing slightly only to freeze suddenly, tensing quickly as something flashed before him. Saruhiko had whipped around, knife in hand (though he wielded it as if it were a sword), ready to plunge the cutting blade into the sudden intruder's chest.

"Whoa! What the fuck are you doing, stupid monkey!" Misaki stumbled backwards, completely taken aback by the sudden attack. Saruhiko blinked and quickly withdrew.

"_Tch_- I should ask you the same thing. Don't sneak up on me while I'm busy, Misaki."

"_Eh?_ Are you serious! You're the one who just about killed me just now!" Saruhiko rolled his eyes and returned to the stove, coldly turning his back to Misaki.

"It's your own fault you startled me. You should've expected something knowing I was in the kitchen with _this_ sort of equipment." Saruhiko waved the knife over his shoulder before tossing it into the sink beside him. Misaki stood there, mouth agape and ready for a full retort, but his chest refused to expand to allow the words to come out.

_What's to say? What difference would it make? Why make the effort? Why waste your breath? _

Misaki raised his hand, clutching desperately at the invisible hole drilling to his core, opening and closing his mouth in an attempt to spit something, _anything_ out.

He couldn't bring himself to continue.

Misaki felt the tiredness drag him down, hollowing out his chest and taking his spirits as he sighed weakly. Wearily, Misaki sluggishly moved to kneel and sit before the small table, reaching up and snatching a blanket from the couch as he waited for Saruhiko. Fushimi quirked a brow, glancing over his shoulder and clicked his tongue, plating their meal and taking it out of the kitchen to serve. Misaki shifted uncomfortably under the other's gaze, turning his darkening face away as Saruhiko observantly watched him dish himself out a small portion of somen noodles.

Something about the Scepter 4 member's eyes always sent shivers down Misaki's spine. That empty stare pierced through Misaki, exposing all he had to hide and leaving him with a cold emptiness left in its wake. However, though Saruhiko's gaze could see through Yata, his shields too fell, reflecting the same hollowness back in Saruhiko's cobalt irises, leaving Fushimi far too open and exposed himself. That alone made Misaki on edge, putting him into a position where the two were both equal in strength and weakness.

Saruhiko growled lowly, reaching over and serving Misaki more noodles with the addition of tuna, some stir-fried shiitake mushrooms and boiled greens.

"I'm not that hungry!"

"Yes you are." Misaki cursed grumpily under his breath, growling back at Saruhiko in frustration before shoving a chunk of tuna into his mouth. Chewing carefully, Misaki slowly relaxed as he unwound with the savory flavors dancing on his tongue. _Damn him and his cooking,_ Misaki thought temperamentally as he felt his stomach grumble eagerly for more.

After the two had finished, Misaki sat back again, fully satisfied as Saruhiko began to clean up once again. Misaki surveyed the man as he moved, watching with hooded eyes as every movement was absorbed by Yata's absentminded thoughts. Completely distracted, Misaki missed the smirking glance Saruhiko gave as he strode between the room and kitchen.

The sway of each movement seemed to fascinate Misaki, hooking him in with each step Saruhiko made. Everything became something of awe: each ankle bent to precise angles as he many maneuvered about; lengthy legs reached out, filling his movements with grace as he traveled; the rippling of light, yet strong muscle beneath the all too-casual cotton V-neck he sported; his hips swaying left to-

_Hips?_

Misaki shook himself and blinked momentarily, realizing just _where_ his thoughts were taking him. Heat flushed his features and he stood, wobbly situating himself onto the couch and under the mountain of blankets. This was _Saruhiko_ he was thinking about. He was a traitor, leaving him and his family of Homra to become a Blue.

_He was your friend_, a part of him whispered silently to him. _Your closest, always by your side._

"But he left me," Misaki whimpered quietly to himself, the memory coiling around his heart in pain and anger. "Everyone close to me has left me." The darkness surrounding him began to pull Misaki under, his eyes falling shut as hollowness filled his chest once again.

_He has never once left you. He has always been there, watching_.

Sleep shadowed over Misaki, cradling him in its heavy embrace and stealing away his consciousness.

_It was_ you _who left _him.

.: :.

Once again, Misaki felt the strange but welcoming warmth return. It swaddled him and lifted him into levitation. It frightened Misaki at first, but velvety caresses calmed him reassuringly.

Oh, how Misaki missed this warm embrace. It brought such wonder to his mind and such feeling of wholeness within, soothing his ache and calming his worries. Above all, however, it made him forget. Forget about deaths and past friendships, forget about tensions, arguments and rivalries. It made him forget what it was like to be sad, to feel the loss of himself and the emotions that came in tow.

Lost in bliss, suddenly the warmth disappeared, sending Misaki into a panic. He reached outwards, feebly calling out for it to return, though unsure of what to actually say. Misaki almost dared to open his eyes for a moment, desperate for the return as a dark, angry cloud formed above him in the nothingness when suddenly, the warmth returned, holding him tightly in it's embrace, protectively.

Soft coos surrounded him in gentle tones, pacing Misaki's racing heart with little efforts. A sweet vanilla scent filled his senses to the brim and Misaki couldn't help but purr in delight, curling into the intoxicating fragrance as it surrounded him.

"You're here," he whispered happily.

"I've always been, Misaki." The voice was beyond familiar.

"Don't leave again, Saru. I don't think I can bear it."

::.

**AN: Yay! Finally got some Misaki feels brought in. Anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think.**

**Later my lovelies~**


	6. Chapter 6

**AN: I quickly wanted to say happy belated Canada Day to all my fellow Canadian viewers~! Also, happy slightly belated Independence Day to my American viewers! You guys hold the record with the amount of views on this story! Congrats! I'm forever grateful.**

**Okay, so firstly, I'm going to make this AN longer than it should ever be so I'm going to apologize in advance. I'm sorry. Alright, now that's over, I wanted to point something out.**

**The English dub for K is coming out pretty soon, ne? I was a little worried when I first heard about it because my greatest fear is having a dub voice actor paired with a character and the two don't exactly match. This is why I'm more of a sub fan. HOWEVER there are the people who prefer dub and I respect that. If you have seen the preview to the dub then you might already know what I'm about to address, if you haven't:**

**youtu. be/FCerm -luWDE (remove the spaces my lovelies~)**

**WHAT. IS UP. WITH YATA'S VOICE. AHAHA oh my god, I laughed for a solid ten minutes. Misaki sounds like a little _brat_! GAHHH IT DOESN'T FIT HIM. I'm so worried about Saru. Lets all agree though that Mikoto sounds like freaking _sex_. I had "Burn them all" playing over and over on YouRepeat for a good 30 minutes.**

**Warning for chapter: long ass authors note. These warnings will get spicy soon, I swear. I like fluff, I'm really sorry. Saru literally sings '_Hurting for a Very Hurtful Pain' _throughout, like, half of this. I personally like Touyu's version, for the single person who probably knows what I'm talking about. Google the English translation of '_Totemo Itai Itagaritai_' if you wanna know what the hell I'm blabbering on about.**

**Disclaimer: refer to previous chapters.**

.::

In those moments, everything was peaceful. Misaki was warm and safe, the hardships of life melting away in the nothingness that numbed his senses. Content was a state he was openly becoming familiar with. Nothing could possibly cause Misaki any further discomfort... that was, until the warm embrace seemed to slip from around him once again. A pang of slight frustration coursed through the crow, and he wearliy slipped both eyes open in hopes to confront the uncooperative force.

Darkness was all Misaki was faced with at first until his eyes began to slowly adjust, noting dark forms surrounding him and highlighting his environments. Squinting slightly, Misaki focused his eyes on the shape to the left of him. He reached a hand out to it gingerly to confirm his suspicions and was greeted with a firmness that Misaki quickly recognized as Saruhiko's arm. Trapped within his daze, Misaki latched himself around the limb, curling and nuzzling into the warmth.

"Damn it, Saru. I told you not to leave," Misaki grumbled unthinkingly. Saruhiko sighed and shifted, rolling himself atop Misaki and into an embrace that ensnared the vanguard tightly.

"'Nmm sorry," Saruhiko slurred unconsciously, voice thick with sleep. Tremors ran through Misaki's spine at the deep tenor sound, opening his eyes once more to gaze at the lips where the noise escaped. Sweet breath fanned over Misaki's face, intoxicating him further into his bliss.

"Saru," Misaki whispered, aiming for the disconnected tone to slip from Saruhiko once more. However, to Misaki's disappointment, the Scepter 4 member merely sighed and relaxed, entwining his legs further with Misaki's. An uncharacteristic pout formed on Misaki's features before the crow nuzzled himself under the other's chin, tilting his head slightly to rest his mouth against the channel that traveled up Saruhiko'a jaw to the man's ear. "Mm..._Saru~_"

"Ngh...Mi...sa..._ki~_..." Misaki shuddered as the direct vibrations from Saruhiko's throat pulsed through him, each syllable escaping with a low moan. The sound was sinfully delicious and Misaki absentmindedly took note of the strange pooling heat deep within his gut. Carefully reaching below, Misaki palmed at the growing firmness between his legs, shyly attempting to mimic the same movements Saruhiko had performed on him the other morning. He worked at himself for a good minute, but as hard as he tried it amounted to no avail.

Disappointed, Misaki growled at himself and pulled back to place his head on the pillow he was now sharing with Fushimi. Silently, Misaki watched Saruhiko's sleeping face, admiring how peaceful and relaxed someone–especially the stupid monkey–could look while they slept. Inky lashes splayed out against soft skin, ensnaring Misaki's attention in full; he had never realized how long they really were. Carefully, he reached up with his free hand and traced Saruhiko's cheek bone and down his jaw before gently cupping his cheek.

It was strange to Misaki, to feel the heat of another under his finger tips. The idea seemed strange to know another human laid so close to him, a being made up of the same matter with the same atomic structure that was so different and unique all at the same time. It was different from touching fabric, picking something up or even feeling himself, all because what he held now was something living that was not his own. When Saruhiko held him, it wasn't the same as embracing a pillow; Saruhiko was solid yet comforting, and brought warmth that dissolved his worries. Saruhiko was the same, yet different. It was something Misaki never had come to thought before.

Fluttering filled Misaki's chest and and overwhelming feeling rose within him, whispering to him to move in closer. Misaki leaned forward, slipping his eyes shut as he gingerly placed his lips against Saruhiko's. Shaking with adrenaline, Misaki moved his mouth carefully across the sleeping Saruhiko's lips, nipping, sucking and poking his tongue out excitedly to taste the warm flesh.

"Hahaha...Misaki~! You...hah...hmmn.." Saruhiko scrunched his features, a smile pulling at the corners of his mouth as he dreamed. The man reached up and rubbed at his nose before shifting back with a sigh. The innocence of Saruhiko's laugh liquified Misaki's heart. He wanted nothing more than to indulge himself at that moment, to throw himself atop of Saruhiko and claim the man's lips his own, but reality struck him like a wet towel, freezing him in place at the shock.

Saruhiko. He was _kissing_ Saruhiko. _Kissing_ him! While he _slept_! His greatest enemy, his best friend! Sure, the two had practiced kissing with each other in back in their early years of school together, but it had been for the sake of learning, and learning _only_. Or at least, that's what Saru had assured to him that was the purpose behind it.

Misaki's stomach twisted painfully as he pulled away, snaking out of Saruhiko's hold and slipping out of bed. His heart raced as tears sprang to his eyes, confusion weighing his chest as he sprang out the bedroom door and searched frantically for his shoes.

_What the hell is wrong with me?_

.: :.

When Saruhiko awoke, the bed was far too cold. He sat for a moment, feeling rather empty as he raised his hand to swollen lips. He looked around before slipping from the sheets and exiting the room.

"Misaki?" Saruhiko called out, his voice rather gruff at first, but called out again nonetheless. "Mi~sa~ki~?"

Nothing.

The apartment was dead silent, looming over Saruhiko with a bitterness that tinged at his heart deep within his chest. His stomach dropped as he stepped into the apartment entrance way, the absence of Misaki's sneakers being the last hint left to the crow's whereabouts. Saruhiko closed his eyes and raised a hand to his forehead as he inhaled shakily.

"_Tch_- brat."

The remainder of the next few days trudged along unbearably slow for Saruhiko without any further word or sight of Misaki. He had dressed solemnly every morning and made his way over to Scepter 4, brushing off the curious questions and teasing of the other members as they set out for more patrolling around the city. Every night he would return home tired and alone, ignoring the need to eat as he slipped into his bed, wanting nothing more to escape reality. Everyday was the same as it used to be. His brief moments spent with Misaki had been a speckle of red paint splattered on his monochrome canvas. Misaki was nothing but a memory of what used to be again, and Fushimi knew he would eventually come to terms with the feeling again.

_Ah, it hurts._

Walking around all day left Saruhiko to his thoughts as he pondered what he had done to scare Misaki away so suddenly. Perhaps he had done something in his sleep? Saruhiko had always been something of a heavy sleeper, and his mother had long ago told him of his sleepwalking adventures he had when he was a young child. Maybe Misaki was just fed up with spending so much time with him? From what he could tell, the vanguard loathed Saruhiko for leaving Homra and severing the relationship the two shared so closely (or seemingly so.) Clicking his tongue at the thought, Saruhiko absentmindedly raised his hand to scratch at his chest, digging his nails deep into the reminder of his past. The more he clawed, the more friction bit as it tore his skin, reminding him of the pain he was filled with as he watched Misaki drift from him. It was amusing to him; while the flame sigil–representing anger, fire and destruction– brought no heat, the scratching and tearing he caused himself burned to distract him from the pain of his already long before scorched heart.

Saruhiko returned to his empty home late that evening, mechanically shuffling to place his belongings to the side before heading towards his bedroom. The buzzing from his pocket was ignored promptly as he fixed his bed covers into order, not having bothered making his bed in the morning when he awoke. His phone had stopped ringing momentarily before it started up again, quickly agitating Saruhiko more than he believed it would. He tore it from his pocket and tossed it onto his bedside table. Satisfied when the buzzing quieted, Saruhiko turned his back to the device as he began to work the buttons of his uniform.

_Buzz, buzz, buzz...buzz, buzz, buzz..._

Irked, Saruhiko spun around and snatched the cellular up again, eyeing '_Private Caller_' scrawled across his caller ID. Saruhiko growled in a fit of pique as he answered the call.

"Ah, moshi moshi, Fushimi speaking,"

"Oi, Saru, I'm hungry." Saruhiko nearly choked and sputtered on his own spit.

"_M-misaki?_"

"Yeah. Can you cook something and br-"

"Why did you leave?" Saruhiko couldn't hold himself back as the words spilled from his lips. He _needed_ Misaki back.

"It...it d-doesn't matter. _Listen to me!_ I haven't eaten anything in a while and I need you to cook me something and bring it here. Got it?"

"Why can't you cook something yourself?"

"Don't you think I've tried that? It all tastes like shit!"

"What about takeout?"

"That's what I've been living off of and it all tastes the same. It's numbing my tastebuds."

"Wh-" Saruhiko stopped himself. Misaki was asking him to come back. Whether he wanted to see Saruhiko truthfully or not, it would still give Saruhiko the short moment of being with the crow again.

"...Saru?"

"...I'll be there shortly." Saruhiko nearly tripped over himself as he sped to the kitchen, throwing open the fridge and grabbing what was left of the vegetables. He snatched some left over broth he had stored at the back and tucked a carton of cream into his arms as he pulled his body out of the fridge, slamming the door shut after he did so. He slaved over the stove, pouring his soul into the dish as he worked as fast as he possibly could. He wanted to impress Misaki. The vanguard was giving him another chance. _Misaki _will _notice me this time._

After he had finished, Saruhiko poured the chowder into a large thermos, sealing it tightly before dashing out of his apartment. His legs carried him as fast as he could, his lungs screaming in agony as he forced himself to move even faster through the darkening streets. The world around him blurred. Nothing else mattered. He _needed_ to see Misaki _now_.

Saruhiko jogged up the steps to the tattered duplex, his heart beating out of his chest as he rang the bell to Misaki's apartment. His vision began to sway and Saruhiko had to grip hard onto the door frame to steady himself before almost falling. Though it had felt as if forever had passed, moments later, Misaki had swung the door open eagerly. The crow was still sporting Saruhiko's giant sweater, earning a squeak of laughter to escape the Scepter 4 members lips as he panted.

"Ah...ha...Mi...ha..sa..." Black darkened around the corners of Saruhiko's eyes, eating away at his vision as he stumbled forward towards Misaki. "I...ha..ha...you..."

"...Eh? Saru? Are you alr-" Saruhiko swayed and blackness swallowed him whole, numbness filling his being as he fell unconscious into Misaki's arms.

::.

**AN: I think I broke Saru.  
Thank you to everyone who showed their love! Feedback means the world to me. Wanna know a secret? I stalk each and everyone who follows, favorites and reviews. BUT SHH. You can't tell anyone, okay? I don't wanna scare anyone away. I do it because I love them.  
So anyways, I hope you enjoyed! Feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think.  
Later my lovelies~**


	7. Chapter 7

**AN****: Ahh, sorry for the wait! I totally lost track of time. I'm doing some classes online right now and I haven't been keeping track of the days too well, sorry! Hopefully I can somehow make up for that with this chapter. **

**Warnings for chapter****: we're nearly there, I promise. **

.::

Saruhiko fought the heaviness that cloaked him, reaching up from the darkness to the bright surface as he opened his eyes slowly.

_Wait, where am I?_

The atmosphere had a warm glow to it, much more gentle than the cold rooms of his own apartment. He was bedded on something soft, though at the moment he couldn't quite tell exactly what it was. Forcing himself to move out of inquiry, he lifted his chin slightly to glance around, noting how out of focus everything seemed. Carefully, he lifted the fingers of the hand rested gently on his chest to rub at the blurriness trapped in his bare eyes.

_Ah, my glasses. _

Saruhiko's gaze locked onto the fuzzy image of a familiar face beside him. Misaki was perched just before him on the floor, toying around with Saruhiko's spectacles, slipping them on and off as if he were observing the difference between images. Saruhiko smirked.

"You'll damage your eyes if you keep at that, Misaki~" Misaki's gaze snapped up, a shocked expression crossing his features as he goggled at Saruhiko.

"Y-you're awake!" the crow choked as he fumbled to get the glasses off his face. Sitting up slowly, Saruhiko rested his back against the armrest of what now appeared to be a couch. He clicked his tongue at the stiffness of his own movements, having to pace himself as nausea settled in when he accepted his spectacles from the vanguard.

Misaki fumbled with something in his arms before seating himself opposite of Saruhiko, settling with his knees to his chest atop the Blue's feet.

"Here." Misaki held out Saruhiko's thermos, the contents half eaten with a clean spoon placed inside. Saruhiko knitted his brows. "You probably need it more than I do."

"Misaki..." Suddenly the crow's demeanor warped and Misaki leaned forward angrily.

"What the hell is wrong with you?! You look like shit! You're as pale a damn ghost!" Saruhiko frowned, brushing his hand through his disheveled hair and down to fumble with his half unbuttoned uniform. "_Che–_ and suddenly falling unconscious at peoples doorsteps? What the hell is with that?! How do you think I felt, hah? For all I know, you fucking _died!_ Stupid monkey! I had to drag your heavy ass over to this couch, you know!"

A spark of realization struck within Saruhiko as he listened to the crow ramble on. _Misaki...was worried?_ About Saruhiko? The foreign icy thought trailed shivers down his spine as Saruhiko's eyes lifted slowly to watch Misaki's face.

"I'm sorry," Saruhiko breathed.

"Damn straight you are!"

"Thank you."

"Eh?" Saruhiko's hands reached out and carefully took the thermos from Misaki, dusting his fingers gingerly against the other's as he pulled back.

"You could have kicked me out onto the street after I fell unconscious, but instead you took me inside your home." Misaki merely blinked at him.

"Oh. Well...er- it was the least I could do. You brought me into your home when I was sick, and not to mention you _did_ rush yourself all the way over to to bring me food, _so_..." Misaki turned away slightly, scratching shyly at the back of his head as his features tinted with a darkening color. A smile pulled helplessly at the corners of Saruhiko's mouth, an overwhelming feeling of warmth spreading across his chest as he gazed at the other.

Every second he was apart from Misaki was a second too long; each minute that passed seemed endless; and when the next began, it felt like the last ended eons ago. The few days he had spent away from Misaki weighed his heart as time etched the lonely hours over the old scars he had buried deep within his chest. When Misaki was away, the thought of him only brought pain, forcing Saruhiko to claw at his last remnants of his former life with the vanguard until it burned fiercer than the memory itself. That alone was his only distraction from his loneliness. But now, Misaki sat before him, as perfect in his own way as he's ever been, and Saruhiko couldn't feel anything other than sheer happiness as he looked upon him.

All the years he watched and waited in pain, every heart-wrenching emotion, every lonely night was forgotten in that very moment as Saruhiko positioned himself before Misaki and took hold of the young man's chin. Eyes like gold bore deeply into cobalt orbs, both souls being exposed to each other through the everlasting gaze.

Carefully, Saruhiko brushed his lips gently against the others, his body nearly shaking as he held himself back from ravishing the other. A slight gasp escaped from Misaki as Saruhiko covered his mouth with the Blue's own, leaving a tender kiss before pulling back ever so slightly to return to the previous gaze with hooded eyes.

Confusion spread like wildfire across the vanguard as he sat there frozen, shock twisting his features as he blinked rapidly at Saruhiko.

"_Kuso saru!_" Misaki's face lit up a bright pink as he quickly scrambled to get out of Saruhiko's hold. "E-eat your f-food already! Starvation is m-messing with your head and making you a-act s-stupidly!" The crow plopped back down not the ground again, half turned away from Saruhiko as he attempted to hide his flush.

_What a wonderful reaction_, Saruhiko mused happily, stirring the spoon around the thermos a few times. His stomach grumbled loudly as the smell wafted upwards to Saruhiko, and Saruhiko almost growled back in return, protesting as he stared into the thermos petulantly. He had made the soup for Misaki, creating it unthinkingly that he would be eating the contents as well...

"Ah? What are you doing?" Misaki had turned around to watch Saruhiko partially place the spoon in his mouth. Saruhiko pouted.

"You know I don't like vegetables."

"That doesn't give you reason not to eat them when you're starving, stupid monkey!"

"I'm not starving."

"You fucking passed out on my doorstep—like _hell_ you aren't!" Misaki stood and snatched the spoon from Saruhiko. He struggled momentarily with the other to get the thermos, climbing atop of Saruhiko just to get the container away and scoop the contents out into the spoon. Misaki smirked triumphantly and held the utensil out to feed Saruhiko.

"Eat it." Saruhiko eyed the chunk of celery amongst the sauce.

"No."

"Coward." Saruhiko nearly snorted at the epithet. After a moment, he sighed and reached for the spoon.

"I'll have you know, I'm more than capable of feeing myself." Misaki narrowed his eyes and tightened his grip on the spoon.

"Just because you're capable, doesn't mean you'll go through with actually eating it."

"Heh, _touché_." Saruhiko kept his eye's locked with the crow's, attempting to snatch the utensil away a few more times—albeit it was clear Misaki wasn't going to give in any time soon. Secretly, Saruhiko enjoyed looking into Misaki's eyes. They drew him in, the differing colors clashing together to create an awe of hazel that captivated Saruhiko wholly.

As reluctant as he was to the action, Saruhiko was the first to break the gaze, groaning and opening his mouth in defeat. Misaki's smirk grew and he hummed with a strange delight, making childish airplane noises with the first few spoonfuls he fed the Scepter 4 member. Saruhiko could only scowl as he was forced to chew down the bits of vegetables, unable to actually find the chowder enjoyable as a whole with the chunks of green mixed in. He tried to pull away a few times, refusing to open his mouth, but Misaki had straddled himself on Saruhiko's waist, holding him down while struggling to grab the Blue's face and force feed the stubborn man.

The thermos was nearly empty before an idea flashed behind Saruhiko's eyes. A small smirk pulled at the corners of Saruhiko's lips as the spoon was brought to his mouth once again, and the man accepted it willingly this time. Saruhiko curled his tongue slightly to lick the underside of the spoon as it entered his mouth, sending a coquettish gaze up at Misaki as he closed his mouth around the metal. A deep moan sent vibrations up the spoon to Misaki, bewildering the vanguard momentarily as he processed what Saruhiko was implying. Misaki blinked, and Saruhiko nearly sputtered a laugh as realization crossed Misaki's features, a mix of horror and embarrassment flushing his face before he frantically tried to pull the spoon away.

"_Urgh!_ You fucker! Cut that out!" Saruhiko couldn't help but chuckle lightly against the metal, allowing the spoon to be pulled away with a loud smack of his lips.

"What's the matter, _Mi~sa~ki~?_" Saruhiko felt the smaller man shiver above him at his first name. Misaki tossed the spoon away, hurrying to seal the top of the thermos shut as he tried to wiggle out of his current position.

"S-stop doing such strange things, idiot!"

"Strange? I don't remember doing anything strange~" Saruhiko purred, easily slipping from beneath Misaki to switch positions, pushing the vanguard back to pin him to the couch beneath them. Misaki's breathing quickened in panic, his brows knitting together as he bared his teeth threateningly while he struggled to get away.

"Damn it, monkey! Get off of m_–mmph!_" Misaki was cut short as Saruhiko crashed their lips together, adrenaline filling the Scepter 4 member as he finally got his way for the first time in a few days. It was a kiss filled with frustration rather than heartwarming feelings and gentleness. At first, the smaller male attempted to pull away, clamping his jaw shut and forcefully trying to tear his face away, but to no avail. Misaki whimpered beneath Saruhiko before giving in and beginning to move his lips as well, pushing back into the kiss with the same ferocity.

Teeth clashed and lips smashed together angrily at one another, feral snarls and growls ripping through both beings as they fought for dominance. It hadn't lasted too long before Saruhiko had won the battle, pinpointing Misaki's weak spot as he nibbled on the vanguard's lower lip, earning a squeak amongst the heavy panting.

Saruhiko pulled back, his chest heaving as he struggled for air. His body shook as his heart raced wildly, staring down at the crow in disbelief as he struggled to make sense of the reality before him. Fushimi's thoughts had swirled around so quickly that they were nothing more than a insignificant mass of blur trapped within his mind, not worth consideration as he gazed lustfully at Misaki's bruising lips.

_Mine_.

::.

**AN****: Holy shit, Saru gave head to a spoon. What the actual fuck, ohmigod. **

**Ah, I'm sorry if I scared anyone away with my last creepy AN. I don't creep to be creepy, I just like knowing what other fandoms you guys are into and stuff, so I check your own stories and favorites and whatnot. I hope you don't take any offense to that ^^' I'm just curious. **

**So, anyways, feel free to leave a review and tell me what you think.**

**Actually, I was thinking of doing a draw prize for my reviewers~ I've been wanted to do it for a while, actually. Awesome reviewers can have the chance at winning a custom oneshot or something from me, if they're interested, that is. It's kinda like a reward from me for being so awesome :) Leave a review and tell me if you'd be interested. If not, just leave a review anyways and tell me how much you hate me for making you wait an extra week for this chapter (lol, I kid.)**

**I just like hearing from you guys, seriously. Reviews mean so much to the author, and if you write too, then you know how I feel. I'm not trying to push you guys, I'm just saying that you all mean so much to me and you're what drives me to keep writing. **

**Yay, long ass AN once again! Lol. **

**Later my lovelies~ **


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